How do you feel most loved, cared for, or appreciated?
Choose the option in each question that feels most like you.
There are no right or wrong answers — this is simply a way to understand what fills your emotional cup.
1. When someone cares about me, I feel loved when they…
A. Say kind words like “I’m proud of you” or “I appreciate you.”
B. Spend time with me doing something together.
C. Give me a thoughtful gift.
D. Help me with something I’m struggling with.
E. Give me a hug, cuddle, or gentle touch.
2. When I’ve had a hard day, I feel better when someone…
A. Encourages me or says something supportive.
B. Sits with me, listens, or keeps me company.
C. Brings me something small that shows they were thinking of me.
D. Does something practical to help me out.
E. Offers a hug, shoulder squeeze, or sits close.
3. I feel most appreciated when someone…
A. Sends a message saying something nice.
B. Gives me their full attention with no distractions.
C. Surprises me with a small gift or treat.
D. Does a task so I don’t have to.
E. Holds my hand, gives a high five, or hugs me.
4. In friendships or relationships, what matters most to me?
A. Hearing positive words.
B. Being together and spending time.
C. Thoughtful gestures or items.
D. Feeling supported with life’s tasks.
E. Feeling physically connected.
5. When someone wants to show they care, I prefer they…
A. Tell me what they like about me.
B. Sit and talk with me or do an activity together.
C. Bring or make something meaningful.
D. Help me when I feel overwhelmed.
E. Hug me or stay physically close.
6. What makes me feel closest to people?
A. Honest conversations and kind words.
B. Shared moments and quality time.
C. Thoughtful objects that show they know me.
D. Acts of support that make my day easier.
E. Hugs, touch, or being near someone physically.
How to Score
Ask your client to count how many A, B, C, D, and E answers they chose.
Mostly A — Words of Affirmation
Kind, genuine words make you feel loved.
Mostly B — Quality Time
You feel most connected when someone gives you focused attention.
Mostly C — Receiving Gifts
Thoughtful items that show “I was thinking of you” matter deeply.
Mostly D — Acts of Service
Actions that lighten your load mean love to you.
Mostly E — Physical Touch
Safe, caring touch helps you feel close and supported.
What if it’s a mix?
Many people have two strong love languages, and that’s completely normal.
This simply means you receive love in more than one meaningful way.
Understanding your love languages can improve:
Relationships
Parenting
Friendships
Communication
Emotional wellbeing
It helps you ask for what you need — and feel more connected to the people who care about you.
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